Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is defined as how well you are able to respond to situations, control your emotions and behave in an adult manner when dealing with others.  Emotional maturity allows you to take charge of your life.  Having your own vision for your life and your own ambition within your life helps propel you toward success.  Gaining emotional maturity takes effort, practice, commitment and patience.

Dr. William Menninger believed the following to be the criteria of emotional maturity:

• The ability to deal constructively with reality
• The capacity to adapt to change
• A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties
• The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving
• The capacity to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness
• The capacity to sublimate, to direct one’s instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets
• The capacity to love

Emotional maturity is learned.  It is an important concept to develop in our life.  This develops at various times for various people….there is no “one” way to reach emotional maturity.  Having said that, there are characteristics that must be present in order to believe one “has” reached emotional maturity.  Consider these characteristics:

1. Responsibility: owning your own emotions without any blaming behavior

2. Honesty: having a willingness to be aware of, know and own your feelings

3. Openness: being willing to share feelings in a healthy manner with self and others

4. Assertiveness: taking steps to have needs met by self and others by asking for what you want/need via positive communication

5. Detachment: letting go of restraints placed on self by oneself or others in the sense that you are able to live life fully without the constraints of any imposed beliefs – allowing the process of being without having ego involvement

6. Flexibility: adjusting to each unique situation so there is a greater likelihood of success

7. Resilience: understanding that things go wrong yet you have the capacity to recognize the problem, manage your emotions, take appropriate action and move on

Truths about emotionally mature individuals:

• Able to keep long-term commitments
• Belief in self is not changed by flattery or criticism
• Maintain a humble stance
• Place others before self
• Seeks information before taking action

Work diligently to practice mindfulness, focus, trust, and a non-judgmental stance.  Your efforts will help you secure an optimistic, open heart.

“The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.” — Anonymous