Love, Sex and Addiction

Love, sex and addiction.  Such a monumental topic to consider in our lives.  Everyone wants to be loved.  We all deserve to feel love from other people in our lives, throughout our lives.  This is so often a scary topic for people and one that is often avoided.  So let’s take a general, simple look at love, sex and addiction.

Sexual addiction refers to the phenomenon whereby individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior.  This includes compulsive sexual urges, thoughts and actions which end up with a negative consequence for the person involved.  This is considered by some to be a progressive intimacy disorder.   Yet many of you may be aware that there is an ongoing debate as to whether this is even an addiction.  Needless to say, there are many people who struggle with this issue and would be placed into the category of sex addicts.  Their struggles are not less than people with other types of addictions and should be evaluated on their own individual concerns.

The definition of sex today seems to mean many different things depending on the individual.  There are also many different ways to “have sex”.  So I will not attempt to provide a definition here but rather encourage you to complete your own research and come up with a definition that is comfortable for you.

Love, ah, love….The Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite, is perhaps the most well-known goddess.  To most people she equates to romantic and/or sexual love.  This is only partially true for she is love in all its forms and with all its consequences.  Here are some forms of love:  romantic love; parental love; sibling love; love of friends; and, love of self.

Let’s consider love of self for a moment.  In modern times we have become extremely analytical of our own emotions and thoughts.  When we are criticized about one thing we suddenly look inward at factors and causes from childhood onward to explain our faults and peculiarities.  In this, there is a great peril, for what we end up seeing are people who are so critical of self and judgmental of others that the ability to love self, much less others, gets drowned in self-doubt.  The love of self is the most complex of loves.  It requires us to recognize the grandeur of our own life, to embrace our soul, and, to recognize the power of our self.  Please love yourself, and share that love with those around you, and you will be rewarded in ways you never dreamed possible.

Health lies in love not in sex or addiction.  That is not so say that sex is unhealthy.  Sex addiction is unhealthy.  But love, ah, love is where health truly resides as it encompasses so much more than you can imagine.  Work on love first and all the rest will follow.

“The best use of life is love.  The best expression of love is time.  The best time to love is now.”  – Anonymous