Measuring Up

One of the most difficult areas human beings struggle with is “measuring up” to their peers.  We examine what others have, what they are able to do and who they have in their lives.  That comparing self to others is one of the major reasons we struggle with self-esteem.

The trouble is that when we enter the state of comparison-making, our seeing is distorted. We become blind to our own value, while devaluing or dismissing the real worth we have.  Take some time to complete the sentences below to determine what you consciously or subconsciously are saying to yourself:

• “He or she is better than me because ____________.”
• “I’ll never have what _______________he or she has.”
• “I’m not as good at ___________________as he or she is.”
• “I’ve not had the opportunity to   _________________that he or she had.”
• “I don’t look like __________________.”

When we compare ourselves and conclude that we are less than, we feel depressed and then want to isolate which causes us to feel even worse.  Now is the time to commit to building our own self-worth.  Here are some simple ways to do just that:

1. Recognize that others’ confidence does not diminish your own.  All of us are able to share our “highlight reels” and we each have one, or more.
2. Realize that you are as capable of reaching your goals as those people you are comparing yourself to…setting a goal, being dedicated to reaching that goal and putting in the effort allows you to achieve.
3. Most comparisons are done with only partial information so if you find yourself comparing ask these questions: “Is all the information available to me?”  “What about that persons’ success makes me a failure?”  “How does this comparison make me either a better person or feel better?”

Self-esteem can influence our life in many ways be it career, relationships and health.  The pursuit of reaching your full potential starts with healthy self-esteem.  Want to know more about building your esteem?  CounselingConnectionslv.com and iLookin.com has the courses, challenges and resources to help you do just that.  Join us now…