Intimacy and Fear

Since ancient time, man’s innate drive has been to achieve intimacy, yet, it is his/her greatest fear.  To have true intimacy means we must give up control.  Giving up control for most of us creates feelings of anxiety and fear.  Fear robs us of our sense of safety and security.  We become stagnant in our lives with very little forward movement.  This leads to isolation which creates all types of other destructive opportunities.  Addictions being one of the greatest.

How do we begin to feel safe and secure?  What will it take to find our sanctuary?  First one has to be willing to stay involved in life; to do healthy behaviors; to welcome connections with those willing to engage fully.  Embrace fears head on and you will find it resolves quickly most of the time.

According to Dr. Peebles’ teachings, the search for security is foremost in our conscious mind, but our soul desire and need for intimacy prevails. With true intimacy, there is no need to desire security, for it is there – secure within our heart and secure within our soul.

Oh if that were the case…..  One of the most basic keys to battling this fear is a willingness to accept uncertainty. There are no guarantees in life or in human relationships. Every connection with another person is ultimately a gamble. Yet social relationships are a basic driving goal of human existence. Those who fear intimacy ultimately fear the consequences of a relationship that turns sour.

Work to be comfortable in yourself. If you truly know and accept your own value and worth as a person, then you know that rejection is not the end of the world. You will be able to set appropriate boundaries to avoid engulfment, and cope with abandonment if it comes along.  Yet more importantly you will be able to move toward intimacy in your life in extremely fulfilling ways.  Healing a fear of intimacy may be challenging but the rewards are abundant. 

“Create your reality by letting go of fear. Dance the dance of intimacy not only with others, but with your SELF.” ~ The Grand Spirit, Dr. Peebles